


Mating Dance

by PaddieCake



Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dave is a little shit, Domestic Fluff, Excessive Singing, Fluff and Crack, Fluff without Plot, M/M, Poor Life Choices, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, at least according to Klaus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieCake/pseuds/PaddieCake
Summary: Klaus tries to seduce Dave.It works!Or:The one where I had The Bad Touch stuck in my head so I made Dave one part of my brain and Klaus the other.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674742
Comments: 8
Kudos: 152





	Mating Dance

**Author's Note:**

> This is the closest I'm getting to smut. Been there, done that, I don't care for writing it x3.

It had been a good day, Klaus had managed to keep the ghosts completely away for the entire day, with almost no effort. 

He was still grinning at the silence as he danced into their room. Dave followed behind, laughing at his boyfriend. "What are you doing" he asked as Klaus shimmied.

"Hold on, I have this song stuck in my head, I think I should have it somewhere." He said, humming as he flipped through his records "Aha!" 

Klaus brandished it at Dave, too fast for him to see it, before settling it on the record player.

"I really thought we'd be more technologically advanced by now." Dave admitted, as a voice started speaking from the radio.

"I don't know what to tell you, babe. Maybe all the time travel messed it up." Klaus said as the beat kicked in.

"What _does_ Prince sing about?" Dave asked, listening intently to the lyrics. It was something he did when introduced to a new song. He wanted to know why someone enjoyed it so much.

Klaus snorted "Sex." He continued dancing, swaying completely out of time with the beat.

"Wait. Hashbrowns?"

"They're like, fried potatoes, babe." 

"No, I know what they are. Why is he singing about them?"

"I don't know! You're thinking too hard." Klaus said, swaying closer to a very amused Dave. He put his hands on Dave's waist and continued dancing, singing along to the song.

"Wait…"

Klaus groaned "What, I'm trying to seduce you."

"I've been properly seduced since '68. Anyway, what's the Discovery Channel?"

" _Dave_. Ugh. It's like a channel where they show science documentaries and stuff. Why are you doing this?" Klaus pouted, tugging on Dave's belt loops.

"I just don't get it." Dave admitted with a shrug. "He's not making any sense."

"It's just a song about sex, that's it." Klaus said, giving up on trying to get Dave to pay attention to him properly. "It's just fun." He said, sighing deeply.

Dave laughed, letting Klaus pull him closer so they could dance properly. Klaus leaned in, kissing him deeply, still humming along, but focusing more on Dave.

"Mhm. Hey, babe?" Dave murmured into the kiss, keeping Klaus close to him. 

"Hmm?"

"What's X-Files?" 

"Ugh."

\---

It's been a week. A week since Klaus had that blasted song stuck in his head. A week since he introduced Dave to a dumb, fun song.

A week since Dave started singing it at any and every opportunity.

Needless to say Klaus was very close to asking Allison to rumor his boyfriend into never being able to sing the song again. 

"No!"

" _You and me baby ain't_ -"

"Daaaave, _stop._ " Klaus practically begged as Dave settled behind him. Klaus was helping Grace with cleaning the kitchen while she went out shopping.

Dave had also been out, but he was back now. Klaus knew because he was _still singing_.

" _Heiroglyphics, let me be-_ " 

"That's it, we're getting a divorce." Klaus said huffing as he leaned his head back onto Dave's shoulder, dishes abandoned in the sink for now.

"We can't divorce if we aren't married, darlin'."

"Fine, an annulment, then." Klaus waved a soapy hand airily as he went back to doing the dishes.

"Hmm, still need to be married for that, I think." Dave said, smirking as he placed a kiss on Klaus' shoulder.

"Well I'm still doing it unless you stop. It's been a week. That's seven days. That's a day for every single one of my siblings, and mom."

"Or, a day for every one of my in-laws?" Dave said reaching a hand out in front of Klaus' face.

Klaus stilled, fingers touching the small box gently. "Dave…"

"Klaus Hargreeves? Would you pre-divorce me?"

Klaus let out a wet laugh, nodding, emphatically, scrambling to put the ring on his finger. "It's black!" He said.

"Thought it would match your 'aesthetic'. Grace helped me pick it out, but Allison had final say, she said you two had been talking about that sort of thing since you were kids."

"What a bitch." Klaus said with no heat in his voice, turning around to face Dave. "Yes, of course." He said, cupping Dave's face and kissing him. 

"Maybe we could get the Discovery Channel to film the wedding." Dave murmured, grinning into the kiss. 

Klaus groaned, smacking his chest lightly. "I hate you, I can't wait until we get married so I can divorce you." 

Dave and Klaus both began laughing hysterically, burying their faces into each other's shoulders. "I love you." Dave said softly, hugging Klaus tightly. 

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Yey for pre-divorce!
> 
> Also I definitely looked up when The Discovery Channel was created.


End file.
